Seven Weeks

My baby is 7 weeks old and I thought I'd be back to regularly blogging by now, but I'm not.

There's so much I want to write about. So many pictures I wanted to post about projects I was working on, but now are done. Such is life. There's so much I want to do, but at the end of the day I have done

1. laundry

2. dishes

3. fed both kids

4. clothed and kept clean both kids

5. changed diapers and assisted with the potty

This is my life right now.

I want to tell you about the birth. All three and a half hours of intense labor pains. The surprise and shock of how quickly it went really scared me. I felt so unprepared.

I want to tell you about the immense struggle I felt when I was faced with loving for two children at the same time....for the first time.

I want to tell you about the guilt I feel everytime I have to put the baby down to help my oldest. She'll never get the undivided attention my oldest had. That makes me feel inadequate.

I want to tell you that I quit my job. How scary it is to give up stability (and cheap health insurance) in this economy. But we're both really trusting on God (and our budgeting skills) to provide where ever there is lack.

I want to tell you how I wonder each day if I'm cut out for this. If I'm doing the best I can for my family.

I want to tell you about the countless moments I'm actively trying to savor with my newborn. This is our last and knowing that I'm really trying to breath in each moment. Each chin quiver could be the last. I love and drink in each one. Love it.

I want to tell you how I've seen my oldest struggle with the immediate decrease in mommy's attention and how I've seen her grow so much in just a couple of months.

So much to talk about and so little time. I just hope it doesn't take me another 7 weeks to start telling some of these stories.