MIA

Okay, so it's been awhile since I last posted. Life has gotten in the way, with all of its ups and downs.

Ups

watching my 3 year old blossom into the person she is today (almost 4!)

cradling my baby whenever I want to

Downs

having almost no alone time for myself

the hard moments right before you figure your child's behavior out and seeing how mean I can be in those hard moments - but maybe those hard moments are "ups" too because I'm learning from them?

I have actually been getting some sewing done. I participated in my first ever craft show! I made way more inventory than I needed, but at least now I have the inventory. I just have the problem of trying to sell it! Need any reusable cloth gift bags or hair clips? I've got plenty!

Now I have the typical pile of to do projects laying around my sewing corner. A pink and brown baby blanket, a blue garland, and something to make with all my leftover christmas fabric.

The latest project I've completed is baby bibs. My 9 month old is not a neat eater. What baby is? So why are there still bibs that don't even begin to cover her clothes? Therefore I made my own. I didn't make the neck hole small enough so I have to move the velcro, but so far it has saved quite a few white shirts (who makes white shirts for babies?) from figs, blueberries and prune juice stains.

I'm off to ignore the to do pile and make new baby blankets and toys since I just heard a friend is having a baby this July!

Summer's Bounty

Of course these photos were taken a few weeks ago, right at the tail end of July when the summer really peaks in my neck of the woods, but posting in a timely manner is beyond me at this point.

I love the summer peak. When my flower garden is flooded with color.

Even the unmowed lawn looks lovely. A field of wildflowers.

And our garden is blossoming. My favorite is the Asparagus bean, just based on the lovely blossom it produces.

We went with raised boxes this year. The native clay soil was beating us down. And I knew weeding was out of the question for me this year. So far we're pleased. But when the plant does well it just seems to attract more pests. You win some and you lose some.

And of course my absolute favorite thing to come this summer....

fresh, ripe tomatoes. My mouth is watering at the thought.

I Promise I've Been Sewing...

Well I wish I could share with you all the sewing projects I've completed this summer, but I can't. It seems that the best I can do is just complete them.

I turned 30 this summer. Wow. I don't like being in a new age bracket, checking a different box on surveys and forms, but I refuse to mourn. This is life, I'm living it. I'm 30 and that's young to someone else. Now I just need to befriend this someone else so they can make me feel young! =)

My husband threw a birthday party for me. It was wonderful and he did all the work. Good food, great friends and well behaved children (until they reacted to the ice cream cake like it was crack). Did I mention it was wonderful?

But I couldn't let this milestone birthday go by without receiving something handmade. I just had to make it myself. I treated myself to a birthday banner. I cut into one of my favorite fabrics, this navy blue with white polka dots. And then didn't even cry when I cut apart a stark white doily and sewed pieces parts randomly onto the exactly 30 pennants I had cut out. They were strung together with white binding. I hung it up on our porch for the party and I think I'm the only one who knew they were there. But that's all that counts. Of course I took lovely photos of them and then accidently deleted them. I'm too lazy busy to go back out there and get more photos to show you.

Then I put together a LOT of reusable cloth gift bags for the Christmas in July sale on Etsy. That was a bust. Not a single sale. But I got my items into a second shop around here! Hip hip hurray for cold calls.

I made a bag for my sister that traveled to Africa and back. Jealous.

I finished a quilt (queen size no less) for my other sister to celebrate her graduation from college (to be bestowed upon her this weekend). Not so jealous at the idea of going through college, but proud none the less.

I made two table runners and one baby quilt from the scraps left over from the queen sized quilt. Lets just say I have a problem with over estimating how much fabric I need. I still have a grocery bag full of scraps left over. I'm just so sick of the colors that I can't do anything more with them.

I am in the process of finishing 7 cute cloth color books for babies. I'm building up my inventory for a craft sale I'll be participating in for December.

On the not so glamorous side I also altered at least 13 cloth diapers. Boring, but yeah for having properly fitting diapers now and less leaks!

And of course on my to do list/pile is a lap quilt for a wedding present, a dozen or more flower hair clips and bobby pins, felt crowns for dress up, a purse/clutch designed just for me, and lots lots lots more reusable cloth gift bags.

Sometimes It Really Is That Good

Something has turned recently, like a tide or the phases of the moon. It was slight and gradual each day, but all too apparent when I spent the time to look. I find myself coping with staying at home better than I did before. I question my decision less at the end of the day and spend more time just being here.

Don't get my wrong. I've still lost my temper with the three old at least once this week. She visits time out more regularly as the day wears on and the heat adles our brains.  And I still count down the hours until Daddy comes home. But I'm not resentful to be making dinner and still watching the kids. I don't feel the need to check out earlier in the day. I can make it a little bit longer. Of course all bets are off on Fridays.

And most of all, when they get to go visit Grandma....I miss them.

I start missing them before they're even gone.

I can see a little bit more now just how good things are.

A recent Saturday morning...

Mommy Monday

I've been thinking about the value of a day. I read alot on Ashley's blog - Under the Sycamore - about how she wants to live intentionally. I guess I've had to read her vision of what that means several hundred times for it to sink in for me, because I'm starting to get it.

When I spent a recent day building a train set for a preschooler and staring into the eyes of newborn I found myself asking what the value of this day was. And immediately I knew that the value was just in me being there, participating in their lives. It may feel like I measure my days by the loads of laundry and sink full of dishes I am able to complete, but just because I'm doing "nothing" doesn't mean it's not worth anything.

I Can't Believe I Finished!

Well this blog was started with the intent of posting sewing projects. So lets back up from mommy world for a moment, and take a gander at the latest finished project in my house.

This queen sized quilt is a graduation present for my youngest sister. I hope she enjoys it (and keeps it out of the dryer...hint...hint). I just can't believe I was able to start and finish such a large project with two kids in the house in just a couple months (to be fair I did the majority of the sewing on the days my mother in law was able to take one or both kids for the day).

I cut a lot of fabric for this quilt. A lot. So much that I had enough fabric to make a baby blanket, two table runners - all three are now assembled and pinned, waiting for a moment of sewing to finish them. I really need to get better at estimating my fabric needs.

There's probably another small project or two in the scrap pile on the stairs, but I'm starting to get sick of these fabrics and color scheme. Until recently the extra scraps were living in my preschooler's tonka truck, but they've been hidden (in the plastic bag) so I can stop picking them up off the floor every night!

Next on my wish list of projects includes some doilies. Yummy!

Summer Plans

I saw this post on Whatever and was inspired to make a family summer checklist too. I've seen Meg's summer list before, but this summer I'm at home with the kids and am really feeling the time fly by before I can grasp it. Last summer we had every intention to go camping and we never did. So this year, I don't want to see opportunities slip past us again.

My husband said "oh, it's a checklist, you'll like that." Okay, I admit I am a list oriented person, but still. He really did think it was a good idea though. And my preschooler loves it! She made me explain what each picture meant and then she spent the rest of the evening teaching daddy what they meant. She is a wonder to watch in action.

Well wish us luck. We've already checked off two and even did an extra activity...fishing! Can you tell we're outdoors kind of people?

Turning Thirty

So in just a few weeks I'll be turning thirty. I don't feel old as in  -life is over I'm so old - but more like - I don't understand teens anymore/I find clothing from Eddie Bauer appealing/I have children/am I really all grown up - old. The prospect of facing a milestone in life is making my mind wander with questions.

Am I supposed to know who I am by now? I feel so unsure of myself in this moment in time. This stage of life where I am staying home with my kids is still new to me. Who am I? A daughter, a sister, a wife and a mom. But those feel like labels. I know the things I like to do. I know what I have done in the past and wish for in the future. But what am I really capable of? Where are my limits and can I push them? What does my heart speak of when all else is silent? What does the future hold for me? Will I accomplish the things I hope for some day?

Of course asking questions just makes me feel more unsure of it all. But I suppose a little soul searching doesn't hurt every once in awhile. I know in the end I'll be turning 50 some day and I'll say to my daughters, I just wish I could be 30 again, just like my mom told me many years ago.

Find a Replacement Please!

I told my husband today that I feel irreplaceable, but not in the warm fuzzy feeling way.

 As bedtime drew near for a 3 year old who was as crispy as toast and I held a hot, sweaty, fussy baby I suddenly realized how intregral I am to them. I am irreplaceable in their eyes and hearts and yet all I wanted to do in that moment was escape. Not escape and flee the country house, just escape from their need for me.

Remind me that I said this when they are teenagers who view me as unnecessary. 

Some Sewing Has Been Done

I finished my second custom order for Seamingly Sarah. A cute little bag for a world traveler. I think this accomplished young woman (it's for my sister, I have to brag about her!) will enjoy it while trekking through Africa this summer!

But I may have been a fool to take on a queen size quilt too (since it's for my youngest sister, she won't mind if it takes awhile!).  I can find 5 minute increments to sew, but that takes a while to add up when the project is in the dimensions of 90" x 96"! Oy. Right now I'm stuck on what to do for the backing. I love to repurpose stuff and make do with what I have (i.e. whittle down my stash of fabric before another single piece comes into this house!), but I just don't have something that will work. I'll just dig deeper.

I'm feeling better about this whole mom-hood gig. I read something on Momformation (on babycenter.com) that resonated with me...something along the lines that this is just a season. Similiar to "This too shall pass." But more like this is the season for playing pretend, dress up, nursing, making silly faces to entice a smile and nothing else. Yes, I feel boring when I recite what I did for the day to my husband (who by the way is my biggest supporter). Yes, I yearn to dive into my bin of fabric and not come out for days. Yes, I feel socially awkward at the thought of finding mom friends (that's a whole other post). But this is now and now requires reciting Cinderella or Beauty and the Best to my three year old and carrying around a chunky newborn (love her to bits and pieces). Tomorrow may be different.