Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Am I Cut Out For This?

I've been staying at home with  my two girls for two months now. I can't believe my littlest is two months old, time flies. But I can't believe I've only been doing this for two months, time is dragging.

I love to watch my kids interact. The baby gives her big sister the biggest smiles. And her big sister tries so hard to win those smiles. I love it.

But I'm exhausted. I know there is missed sleep from nursing at night, but I'm also exhausted from just being at home. I feel like all I do is laundry and dishes.

The past several days have been building up to a temper tantrum day for me. All these moments of a whining preschooler and my tiredness made me fabricate doubts. Doubts that I'm not cut out for this stay at home mom thing. And so today I flipped out on my 3 year old like I was a three year old myself. I even gave myself a time out. I felt like a giant ass. I asked God to give me a moment to remind me, remind me that I loved that 3 year old. And He did. We flipped on some music and all three of us danced our little hearts out. I sat on the floor holding my baby and my preschooler wiggled her way inbetween my legs. I held them both tight and just loved them. Thank you God.


  1. Next time this happens, and it will, remember that at any moment in your frantically tedious day, there are thousands of other moms, or dads, feeling exactly the same way. Your description, the self doubt, "what am I doing here?" really brought it all back to me. It's some kind of a test. Sounds like you are passing. Dancing is the answer to everything. :)

  2. p.s. I might blog about this. Mind if I link to you?

  3. Me again: Don't hate me, but I've linked to you on a recent momfo post.

    Hope you approve.

  4. I love it! Thanks for validating my thoughts and feelings in this crazy time. And sorry I didn't see this sooner. The baby cries...time to go...


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