Something has turned recently, like a tide or the phases of the moon. It was slight and gradual each day, but all too apparent when I spent the time to look. I find myself coping with staying at home better than I did before. I question my decision less at the end of the day and spend more time just being here.
Don't get my wrong. I've still lost my temper with the three old at least once this week. She visits time out more regularly as the day wears on and the heat adles our brains. And I still count down the hours until Daddy comes home. But I'm not resentful to be making dinner and still watching the kids. I don't feel the need to check out earlier in the day. I can make it a little bit longer. Of course all bets are off on Fridays.
And most of all, when they get to go visit Grandma....I miss them.
I start missing them before they're even gone.
I can see a little bit more now just how good things are.